Six months on from Joondoburri, I’m at a crossroads. Yes, I’ve managed to get a fair bit done. But I’m still nowhere near ready to submit and if anything, feel like I’m further away!
Part of me is so despondent about my ms I’m thinking of making it into what I heard Jake Arnott (“The Long Firm”) refer to as “ballast”. His first novel, he says, will never be published as it was basically a practice run – full of all the mistakes he made as he was learning how to do it.
Like a first-born child with whom the parents make all their worst mistakes, I’m beginning to think I should just start afresh with something new. Though being the eldest child in my tribe, I’m kinda glad my folks didn’t shove me in a bottom drawer, so there goes THAT metaphor…
Trouble is, every time I think seriously about doing that, something comes out of the woodwork and inspires me again and I can’t let it go. Aaargh!
I’m not sure if I’ve overworked it so it’s lost any appeal it once had; or if there is so much still to do that I’ll still be at it in 10 years (and seriously, it’s not THAT important a novel). Or possibly both – yikes.
Has anyone else confronted this? What did you do to get through it?
Janette
Janette, It sounds as if you should get some more opinions on what you’re doing. You could try putting it up on the Authonomy site. It hasn’t been a great experience for me there yet but I see lots of books that are attracting lots of detailed opinion and it is all from other writers.
Once it’s up there, why not set it aside for a while (six months? a year?) and do something else? Write some short stories. Start a new novel. Write haiku.
Maybe it will end up being ballast – but maybe you’ll come back to it refreshed and full of new insights.
Graham.
Luke writes:
There is something to be said for ballast. I wrote four novels and one novella before writing my first published novel, and I find myself writing more ballast novels (four more) as I try to get a second book out there. I always say you’re not a writer until you finish something, but that may not be your problem, Janette. I’d go with Graham’s advice – put it aside and write something else. It’s what I do with ideas. If I have one that I think is good, I leave it rattling around in my head for a while, and if it’s still there when it comes to having the motivation to write it, it’s worth it.
I think you should start something fresh J.
You’ll know when you’re ready to come back and finish that one off.
Use everything you’ve learned and plunge into new territory. It brings the excitement back.
Thank you all for words of wisdom. I realise now, all that’s been stopping me from starting something new is an ancient schoolmarm gene demanding I finish what I started. [How can you have any pudding if you don't eat your meat... (apologies to the Floyd)]
Graham, I’m not ready to get opinions in such a public forum yet (or do I mean confident enough?). But a play in the sandpit with something new will be just the ticket!
Yeah, move on. Do something fun, even if it doesn’t run to a 100,000word novel.
We write for our pleasure (amongst other things) but the pleasure should be there.
The sand pit’s a great place to meet strange ideas and take them out for a drink.
terry
The only issue with “moving on” is that for those who still haven’t submitted a new draft to Orbit is that we have til May to do so… or they won’t be interested. And you’ve got a first novel that happens to be brimming with potential, otherwise you wouldn’t have been selected to go in the first place.
Janette I feel your angst over your situation. I’ve got exciting new ideas bursting that the seams to get out, but I keep feeling guilty about not focusing on the Grimshaw manuscript while there’s still a chance (a slim one, but still a chance!) for it to go places.
Take a break and do something else… for a little while… but at the very least commit yourself to getting a new draft of your Orbit manuscript done by the deadline and submitting it, cause you’ll kick yourself from here to the grave if you pass on the opportunity. And seriously don’t give a rats arse about what some other writer dude said about his ballast. It ain’t that way for everyone.
And even if your fears are realised, and it gets rejected, you’re free to take it to other publishers, or to mine the manuscript for its best ideas and include them in your next story, or the one after that. I know I did.
As for getting through that wall? Let me know how you go, cause I’m crunching up against a joyless second draft and wouldn’t mind some tips myself!
Jez
If you don’t want to leave it altogether, you could take a different angle? Maybe do some of the background work (if you haven’t already) – a really detailled overview of the story is helpful for me, so are character backgrounds (which i usually haven’t done well enough). Or try painting it or doing a little cartoon of it or something. Sometimes shoots off better after working alongside but not directly on.
i reckon you could try doing both – put the ms out to a couple of trusted readers during which time you forget about it and start something new. that’s the best of both worlds – your ms is still moving, but you get to do the new thing for freshness and extra learning. either you’ll go great guns at the new thing and get that done and you can go back to the ms afterwards, or you’ll get inspired by writing the new thing and go back to the ms sooner. either way, you can’t lose, i reckon.
i agree with jez, though, submit the ms eventually – the worst you’ll get is a ’sorry’, and while that might be bruising, at least you won’t be wondering if it would have been successful. you can’t lose, so you might as well.
Oops! Late to the party.
IMHO put it down, if only for a few months, and play with something new. Time out can be refreshing, and when you do come back to it you’ll have the energy to really tackle all those woodwork inspirations.