Hi Guys,
I’ve just entered a story in a Christmas short story competition called Spec The Halls. Don’t ask me why, I just thought it would be fun to do the story once I heard about the comp.. Anyway, I thought you might have Christmas stories lying around you might like to submit.
It’s one of those contests (there seem to be so many these days) where you post the story yourself and then tell them where to find it. So, since it is now on the Web (bye bye first electronic publishing rights!) I thought I’d send you the link in case you want to see it. It’s called ‘Last Christmas’ and it’s very short (1700 words). If you read it, let me know what you think.
(In case you’re wondering, I didn’t put it up here in case it drew traffic. I think of this site as private – even though it isn’t – and didn’t want to upset anyone.)
Cheers,
Graham.
Luke Keioskie writes:
What a mind you have! A truly bizarre little piece, in a good way of course. Great character, great concept. My only criticism is when the character ‘dies’ at the end – instead of blacking out, you should build to it, heighten the tension so the poignancy of your last line has more weight. But really cool, Graham, as always.
Thanks Luke. I take ‘a truly bizarre little piece’ to be a compliment. (I sometimes worry that I just don’t have a good enough imagination, or that my stuff is too ordinary.) But I really enjoyed writing this one – and I really enjoyed being told it was ‘cool’
Thanks for the suggestion about building the tension at the end. I should have posted it before I entered the competition!
Graham.
enjoyed this story, graham. nice balance between not explaining the world in unnecessary detail (at least in the initial part), but giving just enough info to know something is different about it. good luck with the comp.
I’m with Luke – wonderfully bizarre, and you capture the fictitious uber-perfect Women’s Weekly-meets-Clement Clark Moore Christmas beautifully!!
Now, is it just me or am I beginning to see a pattern in your stories – you tricky trickster! – of lulling us in and then revealing what’s really going on with a swirl of your cloak?
While I loved this story, I felt that somehow the revelation section was a bit distanced – I wanted it to make me cry but it didn’t, quite. I think that’s because the explanation of what’s happened AND Solvay’s actual death are done with omniscient author voice, so you take us away from her just as she dies.
Was that deliberate? Would it be more poignant if we felt Solvay’s loneliness more viscerally? Is there someone specific she grieves for – partner, parents, children? Is her own death something she approaches with fear? Relief? Despair? I wasn’t sure because we weren’t in her reality as she died.
Just some random thoughts for your contemplation.
BTW, I really do love that her last act is to bestow the perfect Christmas on the Universe!!
Yes. I hope someone will have the sense to do this one day
Thanks for the crit, Jannette. I’m sure there’s plenty there for me to use to make the ending better. It reflects what Luke said too, so I guess that must be a real weakness.
Do you guys find that some of what you write falls flat because what you’ve written, while it pushes all the right buttons in your own head, leaves out masses of stuff that’s there in your thoughts but not quite explicit ?